Light relief Dulwich Park, 28.10.2005 (click on photo to enlarge)
Rather obvious, but perhaps it bears repeating: as long as there's the utter joy in an ordinary moment of light, welling from the stomach or the heart or wherever it wells from, things will probably be ok. Maybe the greatest gulf is not between success and failure, good and ill fortune, or even strength and weakness. Maybe it's a matter of whether you have the ability to lose yourself in beauty, pleasure, empathy - something outside yourself.
I have a strong memory, from when I was 9 or 10, of watching my aunt (the 'sister' in the previous post) sink with a sigh into an armchair, put her feet up and slowly, lasciviously, unselfconsciously, drink a hot cup of tea. In that moment she gave herself up totally to pleasure. "I've never seen my Mum do that", I thought. It really struck me. I knew which of them I wanted to be like.
It always bears repeating. The simplest things in life are not necessarily easy. It's entirely too easy for me to get stuck in the vortex of my "self," and I'm always having to consciously reach out, to connect to others, to the light.
It's moments like the one you remember, thoughts like that, that help children --people-- survive. A moment that allows the claim to a life to be staked. A life of one's own choosing, more than a mere echo. A life that can bloom.
"Maybe it's a matter of whether you have the ability to lose yourself in beauty, pleasure, empathy - something outside yourself." or perhaps, conversely..."Maybe it's a matter of whether you have the ability to find yourself in beauty, pleasure, empathy - something inside yourself." Love to you, beautiful Jean :)